


How to Succeed in the Business of Catching Mermaids

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Business Trip, M/M, the relationship doesn't start in the fic for ethical reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "Jack is a Personal Assistant for CEO Kozmotis Pitchiner. He is also head over heels in love with him, and would do *anything* for him, but he doesn’t act on his feelings out of respect for Kozmotis.Trouble is, that Kozmotis is a busy man, and he doesn’t realize Jack has feelings for him, until his accountant, Sanderson, who in some weird way is also his best friend, points it out to him. Even then however, Kozmotis doesn’t react to it, because it would be considered ‘unprofessional’ and he has issues due to a horrible divorce (where he just barely succeeded in getting custody of his daughter), so he’s not too willing to try for something again, even though it’s been years since he was with anyone.Frustrated, Sanderson looks for help from a couple of colleagues (Bunny and Tooth) and another CEO he does accounting for, Nicholas St. North. Their solution?...[cut for length]"The OP came back specifically to ask me to stick to the prompt, so I did. I can do that! Well, North, Tooth, Sandy, and Bunny don’t have the jobs suggested in the prompt. And Jack and Kozmotis don’t literally get locked in a room. But other than that, they are in a room, and they do work things out for the moment.
Relationships: Jack Frost/Pitch Black
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37
Collections: Blackice Short Fics





	How to Succeed in the Business of Catching Mermaids

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 12/7/2016.
> 
> Here's the rest of the prompt: "Arrange a 'business trip’ to Las Vegas, and get the two locked up somewhere together until they figure things out."

“You’re _sure_?” Kozmotis asked the receptionist, giving her a stare under which many a corporate lawyer had wilted.  
  
“Absolutely sure, sir,” she answered. “The reservation was for only one room. I wish I could offer you an upgrade, but the room reserved for you is already the presidential suite, and we don’t have any other open rooms. If you like, I can contact one of our sister hotels—”  
  
“No, that won’t be necessary,” Kozmotis said. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sure the mistake was made on my end.” He turned away from the desk and towards the young man standing next to their luggage. “Well, Jack, it seems there’s nothing to be done. Let’s go.”  
  
A few minutes later, Jack and Kozmotis stood in the luxurious suite that had been reserved for them, and yet, was very obviously not designed for two coworkers to share. Kozmotis sighed deeply and Jack began dashing about, seeking out luggage stands, checking for the presence of an ironing board, taking stock of the contents of the mini bar, and, in short, doing a great number of things that weren’t actually necessary. Kozmotis sank into one of the plush armchairs and closed his eyes wearily. Jack’s discomfort and anxiety were all too obvious, and the trouble was that Kozmotis knew well the source of these emotions.  
  
And, knowing this, he also knew it wouldn’t be fair to his assistant to leave his anxiety unaddressed for the duration of the trip, and it would be better to address it sooner, rather than later, as long as they were going to be forced to stay in this room. Kozmotis opened his eyes, grimaced briefly, and sat up a little straighter. “Jack, come here, would you? I need you to talk me out of murdering several of your coworkers.”  
  
“What? Why?” Jack asked, dropping a phone charger and hurrying over to perch on the couch next to Kozmotis’ chair.  
  
“Why stop me? I’m sure you know that murder is frowned upon.” He smiled. “Or, more likely, you want to know why I want to murder them in the first place.” He looked away from Jack. “Over the past few months, I have had separate discreet visits from Sandy, Tooth, North, and Bunny. In each of these visits—though the tones they chose in which to convey their news varied, as I’m sure you can imagine—every one of them informed me that you were in love with me.  
  
“Sandy even insisted on having a full conversation with me about this. Honestly, they hardly talk, and then when they do—anyway. When I protested to them that I could have little use for such information given that you are my direct subordinate, they didn’t drop the subject, and even when I reminded them that I was in no way seeking a relationship—though the first objection really should have been enough—they still did not behave like someone who was going to drop the subject entirely.”  
  
“Oh no,” Jack said, with such pure dismay in his voice that Kozmotis courteously refrained from looking at him.  
  
“Sandy has odd ideas about romance,” Kozmotis said after a brief pause. “Have they told you how they met their wife?”  
  
This drew a weak laugh from Jack. “She was working as a professional mermaid at a water park show, and one day the fire alarms went off at the beginning of the performance, and she couldn’t get out of her tail to evacuate. Sandy was there in the audience that day, and they carried her to safety. They shared the popcorn Sandy had bought for the show while waiting for the fire department to finish putting out the small, but real, fire that had set off the alarms. Apparently, it was love at first sight. Is that even true?”  
  
“In every particular,” Kozmotis said. “So, you see, they were never forced to face the fact that many, many aspects of romantic comedies are entirely unrealistic. And so. Here we are, in Las Vegas to attend a conference that was so important that I simply had to attend, so busy that of course you would have to accompany me, and through some ‘inexplicable’ turn of events, we must share a room. Of course, there was no mistake. North makes the travel arrangements, and he enjoys going along with Sandy’s schemes far too much.” Kozmotis paused. “Jack. Something awful has just occurred to me, and I need you to answer this honestly. Did _you_ have any part in this arrangement?”  
  
“No! No, I swear,” Jack said, sounding miserable again. “I—oh, god, this is all so mortifying. Aren’t you even going to, like, ask me to deny that I—deny my feelings?”  
  
Kozmotis did turn to Jack now, and found him staring at the floor, red-faced. “I suppose you could do that,” he said, “but what’s more important to me now is that you’re honest.” He leaned forward and pressed his fingertips together in front of his lips. “You’re safe with me, Jack. In all ways.”  
  
“Fine,” Jack said faintly. “I’m in love with you. There! I said it. And it’s all going to be for nothing, isn’t it? I don’t even know if you’re attracted to men, and I—I’d do anything for you, but I didn’t want to tell you I loved you if there was no chance—I would have kept it to myself forever. Ugh. Maybe you’re going to have to talk me out of murdering my coworkers. I mean, as long as you didn’t notice—I wasn’t happy, but, shit. I’m gay. It’s not like I’ve never fallen for anyone who wasn’t interested in me before. I lived.”  
  
Kozmotis sighed. He’d like to offer some sort of comfort to Jack, but it really wasn’t time for an arm around the shoulders, was it? “I am bisexual, to clear up that question, at least,” he said. “I…look, Jack. Like I said earlier, and in all honesty, I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m aware I put on a remarkable façade of stability as the CEO of Dark Horse, but before this? With my incredibly bitter and protracted divorce? With the business I owned imploding on itself? By rights, Emanuel Moon shouldn’t have hired me to run his company. I’m not fully ‘together’ yet, not really.”  
  
“But maybe no one ever is,” Jack said quietly, sneaking a glance at Kozmotis.  
  
Kozmotis chuckled. “My façade is more successful than ever. Seriously, Jack, I have major problems that aren’t even close to being resolved. So many, in fact, that I wouldn’t have fought for the custody of my daughter unless I was certain that not doing so would have produced a worse result. Which only added to the total number of problems, in the end. And, no, I’m not going to get into a detailed discussion of them with you. You don’t need all that, and I’m not ready to tell it all. Even Sandy and Mr. Moon don’t know everything, and they know most of it.”  
  
“If Sandy’s your friend and they really know you, then why’d they set this up?” Jack asked. “Wouldn’t they have guessed this would happen? I mean, they’re not that naïve, really…”  
  
“Well, I’ve been closing myself off to Sandy, too,” Kozmotis said. “They can only take my appearance of recovery as the genuine article. If I was watching all this from the outside, I wouldn’t think it _extraordinary_ for someone in my apparent position to be encouraged to start dating again. I wouldn’t try forcing the issue with methods like this Vegas business trip nonsense, but, still.”  
  
“Well, if we’re really having this conversation…it’s not me, is it? Though, I mean, if it was, there’s nothing I could do about that, is there?”  
  
“No, Jack, there’s nothing wrong with you,” Kozmotis said. “But, look. Even if my past wasn’t still haunting me, I’m still your boss.” He paused. “I think you’re an upstanding young man with good judgement. And…if I, as your boss, were to act in reciprocation of your feelings, then I wouldn’t be worthy of them, and well, I would have to revise my opinion of your good judgement. I have real power over your job and you know that. It would be wrong of me to accept, I’ll just say it, any romantic or sexual overtures you made toward me.” He looked at Jack and smiled. “I think I’ve decided not to murder your coworkers. I’m going to make them all attend an early-morning seminar on workplace boundaries instead.”  
  
“Leave it to you to come up with a fate worse than death,” Jack quipped back, though he didn’t sound much happier. “But if I wasn’t working for you…”  
  
“Please, please don’t quit!” Kozmotis said, genuinely alarmed. “You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had.”  
  
“And you’re still not looking for a relationship.” Jack looked over at Pitch. “This subject hurts, so, don’t worry, I’ll be dropping it soon. But…if you were ready to date, and you just happened to meet me somewhere, and I asked you out, would you say yes?”  
  
“I suppose I would,” Kozmotis said, “But then, I don’t ascribe much significance to first dates. And I’d probably be very jumpy all night trying to determine if you knew I was CEO of Dark Horse and had asked me out with a confidence unusual in someone your age, or if you had simply seen someone lonely and middle-aged, and were actually planning to murder me. I would, naturally, quash any thoughts of genuine attraction on your part.”  
  
“You make yourself sound decrepit or something!” Jack said indignantly. “I…” His face fell. “The attraction is very genuine,” he said quietly.  
  
“I’m literally twice your age, Jack. I would feel extremely foolish arranging a date with stranger-you, and I would certainly expect you to stand me up. I’m just saying how this would go if I didn’t know you.” And even though he had all the evidence anyone would need, he still felt the idea of Jack being attracted to him was somewhat absurd. But then, Jack didn’t know him as well as he knew himself.  
  
“Okay, so the stranger idea is bad, you don’t want me to quit, you aren’t looking for a relationship now, then what?”  
  
“Then _I_ open this sofa bed and _you_ put your things on the real bed, because I won’t have you suffering any more for other people’s nonsense, and we go to this conference, and we disappoint everyone by not coming back after getting married by Elvis in a drive-through chapel, or whatever they were expecting. And in time I expect you will fall out of love with me.”  
  
“And what if that doesn’t happen?” Jack asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.  
  
“Well, then while you’re waiting for my issues to resolve, you can take what you’ve learned at Dark Horse, start another company in which you steal all of my employees, and then, as my business rival, you can come after me as the horrible old man I will be at that point.”  
  
“What about monopoly laws?” Jack asked, a small smile on his face.  
  
“Much less clear than workplace harassment laws,” Kozmotis said. “I have hardly any emotional response to them.”  
  
“You’re a really stubborn mermaid,” Jack said. “But just you wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> ceed said: This was great!!!!


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